I SERVED A KID DRESSED AS IRON MAN TODAY AND I ASKED HIM WHAT HIS NAME WAS AND HE SAID IT WAS TONY AND HIS MUM SHOOK HER HEAD AND WAS LIKE NO HIS NAME IS JESSE AND I LOOKED BACK AT THE KID TO GIVE HIM HIS CHANGE AND SAID ‘HAVE A NICE DAY MR STARK’ AND HE GOT SO EXCITED AND RAN OFF WITH HIS SISTER IT WAS GREAT
when i first got my tumblr i was a huge fucking dork and i enabled that thing that puts your tumblr posts on your facebook but then i forgot that i did that and reblogged a post that said “reblog if your dick is as big as the universe” and my mom was like “oh my” and my great uncle saw it and commented “that’s my girl” and i have never been so done in my life
I wonder if the young girls playing on the trampoline next door know that
- I can see them
- I can hear them singing You Can’t Stop The Beat from Hairspray
- they are really bad singers and
- I can probably get a YouTube-worthy video of them from my current position
gUYS I PUT ON MY COUSINS HOCKEY MASK AND STOOD AT THE WINDOW AND YELLED “STOP YOUR INFERNAL SINGSONG I’M TRYING TO MURDER HERE” AND THEY SCREAMED AND TRIED TO RUN AWAY AND ONE FELL OVER AND STARTED CRYING
that’s a lot of butter.
there are fucking google eyes staring into your soul from every angle and you comment on the butter
to be fair it is a lot of butter

The colour of this crack changes to a darker version of your blog colour.
GET ON MY BLOG
OmF there’s a crack of space and time on my blog.
My sister actually just asked me what this was, not gonna lie I think i’ve disowned her


